writing a reflection of the year that has passed. exactly a year ago, i recall sitting at the top of arashi park with mai and takafumi in tama, tokyo, the three of us pen to paper reflecting. after that, we went to the onsen and mai and i had intense conversations in japanese about twenty ten, twenty eleven, the future and it’s possiblities, outside in the cold winter air naked in the hot springs surrounded by strangers. i miss japan so much that it hurts. somedays it feels like a wound that just won’t heal. i was there only two weeks ago, but it feels like i never even left australia.
it seems kind of fitting, though, that i end twenty eleven by the pool with my family. considering that i ended twenty ten in tama with my host family, watching kouhaku and johnny’s countdown. i went to bed at about 12.15am that night. early rise the next morning for the traditional temple visit and first sunrise of the new year. here, in australia, tomorrow i will sleep in and not see the sun until it’s high in the sky, about 11am. for the sake of tradition i’m quite compelled to set my alarm to watch the sunrise.
if there’s one thing that twenty eleven has taught me, it’s that my friends may not be the best people to depend on, and that no matter how much i try to strengthen and rebuild old and new friendships alike, it still figures that i’m spending new years eve alone. there is no one better to depend on than yourself. i never let myself down. no wonder i don’t bother with many people anymore.
and on a happier note, happy new year! to the future, and it’s possibilities.
